Midnight Circus

It was a strange sensation, losing consciousness. Of course I'd done if before, but not since becoming this new Thoughtborn thing. But when the Ringmaster put his hand over Nick's face, my mind went numb and  I faded away. It felt like being consumed by the Quiet. Brought back bad memories.

We woke up in a cell. Or at least I did. Nick was still asleep, but I couldn't wake him up. I couldn't even do anything to help because he wasn't even dreaming. Given the situation, this seemed confusing. It's not the Grotesque's MO to not give nightmares. But it was intelligent. If he's not dreaming I can't get to him, I can't wake him and I can't help him. The worst thing about it though, or at the very least the bit that makes a really bad situation even worse, is that I can't leave his head. Normally I could flow out at will, into someone else's head and their dreams. Talk someone into helping, something! But whatever the Ringmaster had done to us, it meant I was just as trapped as Nick. This was also the time I noticed that I couldn't see if my host's eyes weren't open. Meaning I was blind on top of helpless.

Everyday the cell opens, footsteps are heard and Nick is hoisted to his feet, where he stands, wobbling slightly from side to side. Then he moves forward, in hobbled, sluggish steps he and the others who entered the cell go out into the open. Circus music plays, laughter and screams fill the air. Nick performs several tasks, he juggles, breathes fire, throws knives, contorts himself, and sometimes just bloody self-harms. All while asleep, asleep in his dreamless inescapable sleep. Every once and a while the Ringmaster's laughter can be heard, booming out above all the other noise of the circus. It's all just a game to him. 

I don't know what exactly the Ringmaster is. I'd seen him in several other dreams on my mental travels across the globe. He's not always a ringmaster, he appears as whatever's suited to the nightmare that's occurring. But the one thing that's always consistent is his eyes. Like fish, swimming about his face. I figured he was some sort of incarnation of the Grotesque, a partner to the bestial monster who feeds off their victims' life-forces. But then he appeared in real life. I don't think the Grotesque can do that. At least I didn't. It's hard to know anything with any certainty when things like the Fears are involved.

For weeks it's been going on. For weeks Nick gets up, performs his tricks, eats, drinks, stays alive and then returns to his cell and falls once more into the deep catatonic state. But it's only today I managed to access a computer. I don't know why it was put there, but it gives me some opportunity. Something I can finally do. They can trap me in his head but I can still control electronics. I'll find some way to free him from the Ringmaster's grasp. Don't know how yet. But I have to.

-Shady